Thai Girlfriend Scams and Problems
This website has given many case studies of scams which Thai girlfriends run, as well as problems with ladies who have at least some real feelings towards the foreign boyfriend.
Whether or not the relationship of a Thai girlfriend with a foreign man is real is something which we try to assess as part of our investigative work.
There are a wide variety of cases, and likewise many kinds of scams and a diversity of relationships with varying degrees of sincerity.
We have a lot of cases which have similar elements and operations, but it is far more efficient to just discuss these elements in one web page, rather than cite multiple cases and experiences. This also allows us to cover various issues on one page. It also means we take no risk in revealing any identities and that a particular discreet case was even done!
Non-surveillance, interpersonal techniques work best and are most often employed, but these methods are something we should not discuss on the internet, and that cuts out a lot of our potential case studies to cite.
Any case studies which reveal methods could result in dangers to the agents, as the agents are potentially a threat to the substantial cash flow of scammers (as regards one guy, the one who hired us). It could also alert scammers to the methods, thereby reducing the effectiveness of the methods. Nonetheless, there are a few general things we can say:
Many cases require just one agent, and we can usually find a Thai lady who is interested in the "research" and action, or an appropriate expat. The Thai agent is "matched" to the subject being investigated, in terms of age, dress, situation, and/or apparent values and interests. (The expat who does most of the bargirl cases in bars is the husband of the owner of Thailand PI, a longtime expat in Thailand. That's me, writing most of this website.)
Notably, we generally don't recruit existing freelance prostitutes, as they are notoriously unreliable, don't have the required self-discipline, are somewhat naturally "on the side" of the other money ladies rather than the client, and are real gossip risks. Nonetheless, there are two special exceptions at the time of this writing which we use in occasional cases whereby the lady must be willing to go with a reasonably OK man.
On the opposite end -- the high classes -- some agents have experience in journalism and on-camera acting, for the nicer areas of town.
If the client wants to try to "entrap" his girlfriend, to see if she will "go with another farang", then we have a few expats who are occasionally willing to do this routine for us. "Entrapment" can be a questionable strategy. Sure, we can have a wealthy acting and handsome guy make a pass. What would you do if a nice looking and wealthy lady expressed interest in you? Alternatively, we could have a fairly ordinary guy (either money or handsome, not both) chat her up and make an indecent preposition to see just how easy or hard to get she is. If the lady accepts, then we can implement an "out" excuse for the guy to break it off later, including an urgent phone call in the lobby of the shorttime hotel, or an old girlfriend waiting at his condo.
Over the years, we've had a vast variety of cases with quite an assortment of personalities, backgrounds and current situations.
A lot of friends and associates think this work must be exciting, and if they are the nonjudgemental and understanding type who enjoy dealing with a wide variety of other kinds of people, are nicely sociable in an adaptive blend-in way, and have the self-discipline and resourcefulness required, then we give them a chance as a junior agent under a veteran as mentor.
Usually, a new agent is "moonlighting", and they are a longtime friend of an existing agent.
Often, using our contacts, we have someone in a professional position whereby they are matched with a real pretext to participate in an investigation. Of course, no internet case studies on that, as we don't want to reveal discreet cases and entities!
Some others "constantly on call" for general kinds of cases have a regular job or freelance/consulting career. Our primary community is media people (some research journalists, some in advertising/photography/modelling, and a few others). Our base operation is fulltime employees and we do other business besides just girlfriend checks!
Actually, it is quite boring at times, especially on discreet surveillance on hot days. Then, suddenly, "ma laew!" is whispered, the button is pushed to send the waiting SMS alert code, it is relayed down the chain, and the challenge is on, albeit routine. Surveillance usually requires multiple people (including private motorcycle to follow any taxi or other motorcycle) in order to be successful and discreet, and always Thai agents. It requires some training to follow someone and usually not be noticed, and be successful over the entire time.
For clients on a small budget, we can cut costs by reducing the number of surveillance agents, but only with the understanding that there are significantly larger risks regarding discretion as well as success. Maybe they're lucky, maybe they're not.
If the subject goes to an entertainment or other social place as expected, then special agents on call that day enter the scene. Sometimes we can accomodate unexpected events, especially on Friday and Saturday nights.
It takes a lot more knack, skill and experience than most people realize, in order to be successful.
Usually, we are successful. Sometimes we are not. As regards the latter, sometimes we even get an irate client of elevated emotions who then focuses on us...
On the subject side, we get many different kinds of grey-area lady situations, e.g.:
Already a longtime "mia noi" (lesser wife) of some rich guy for support, maybe wants out and a serious foreign husband
Longtime Thai boyfriend but doesn't really want to marry him (and his family), hopes for a foreign husband
Married already but separated, and hasn't told the foreign guy
Of course, we also get outright scams just to get the guy's money, girlfriends with multiple foreign boyfriends, and ladies secretly in the prostitution trade in a heavy duty manner. These are "run of the mill", and we get LOTS of these. We also find other kinds of objectionable situations which results in a negative result in the mind of the guy who hired us.
We also get many clearly positive results.
However, sometimes our fact finding missions reveal a mixed situation, more complex than the guy knew, involving imperfections which may not be show-stoppers as regards the relationship, and often the gentleman needs considerable orientation to Thai society and guidance.
If an interpretation is needed, then as a mix of Thai agents with a couple of western expats, you get a fairly balanced perspective.
Like a psychologist, we usually won't tell you something is good or bad, right or wrong for you. We will report the facts first, and as a separate matter may offer some interpretation, analysis and opinion, but it's really up to you and the lady.
We are not just expats and Thais in the tourist areas. The level of cynicism decreases dramatically with distance from the prostitution and gold-diggers areas. Our experiences in Thai society are a lot more diverse than that, and therefore we are able to see things in a broader context.
Nonetheless, we can immediately spot the distinctive behaviors and traits of those who are steeped in the prostitution and gold-digger areas -- both the ladies and the expats! Just like in journalism -- don't believe everything you read! Consider your sources.
Thai Ladies, Scams, and Safety Issues
Thai ladies and safety issues in Thailand
It's one thing to lose your heart and/or your hard earned money, but sometimes you can lose your life, or else find yourself in big trouble, such as in jail or under threat or physically assaulted.
Most of the safety issues below are mainly in regard to Thai ladies of questionable moral standards, her male friends and associates who are rather rough and crude or hang out with reference groups of people like this, and gold-digger family pressures of many Thai ladies pushed into prostitution.
Other safety issues are directed at foreign men who tend to lose control of their emotions and/or not analyze and think thing thru before taking certain actions.
Some are crimes of passion, but most are calculated and premeditated offenses.
We've had murder case inquiries which were related to a life insurance policy in which the victim named his wife as the beneficiary of the life insurance policy. In one case, the wife conspired with her non-family associates. In another, it appeared a wife's family took the initiative. If you take out a life insurance policy, don't tell them.
Similar things have occurred to company shareholders. While rare in purely professional circles, the percentage is much higher as regards small holding companies based on personal relationships. You may want to write a Will which assigns your shares and property to someone else, and make this clear to all parties who may be tempted to do harm to you.
Then there are crimes of passion. In many cases, it is best to not confront the wife yourself in cases of infidelity because you or her or another paramour might lose control emotionally. In many cases, it is better for a neutral third party like a private investigator to find out and inform you when you are far away from harm's way.
For example, in the case (which had nothing to do with us) of a Danish guy who snuck back to check if his wife was unfaithful and caught her: "Policemen got the murderers and one of them is Marisa's brother. He confessed that Jules was killed because he found out that his wife was unfaithful to him. Marisa's brother and the paramour (the government officer in Langsuan district, Chumporn) hurt Jules and then tied the rope to Jules' neck until he lost conciousness. After that they took unconcious Jules to his car and drove to the garbage site, and then used the concrete bar hit him until he died. Langsuan policemen arrested the guy (the paramour) while he was working in the office, he went pale when he saw the polices. But he refused everything. Jules's wife and 2 of her brother's friends is investigated now because the polices suspected that they're all involved. After the investigation, the polices found out that the murderers are Marisa's brother and her paramour. They commited the crime together. Marisa's brother said Mr. Anupong (the paramour) has been having secret relationship with Marisa for a long time. He always visited Marisa while Jules was away. Many years ago Anupong used to help him with the robbery case, and then they became friends. On Sunday, Jules told Marisa (and her brother was there also) that he was going to go to Phuket. But before that Jules suspected that his wife was unfaithful to him, so he came back and found out that Marisa was doing something with the guy (Anupong). Jules got so angry, so both Marisa's brother and Anupong hurt him." (Source: julesodekerken.com and this murder happened in 2003.)
Besides murder, you can wind up badly beaten up. I've had clients who experienced this, including attempted murder by their wife.
I've also had clients and inquiries who have a family member who was killed.
Likewise, there are many foreigners in jail for murdering or seriously assaulting their girlfriends, often over matters such as infidelity or monetary fraud.
You can also wind up in jail for other reasons.
Foreigners have found themselves in jail because they were hanging out with a group of Thais who did drugs and had major possession on them in the presence of the foreigner.
Do your best to stay out of any situation in which you could become a victim of extortion. If you don't have good contacts in Thailand with key people who know you well, then be careful where you go and who you are with. Mafia people tend to continue to exist in places where they have corrupt police protection. Otherwise, they usually would have been shut down long ago. Money talks in Thailand, where many policemen have salaries in the $150/month range and must make up for it from their "community".
We also have a case of a guy who was breaking up with his mafia girlfriend (who I witnessed over the phone talking to him and controlling him like she had power over him and an immense ego), and at that moment she brought in a couple of policemen and showed them drugs he allegedly had hidden. He claimed to me that he knew nothing about the drugs, and he seemed sincere to me. He spent a little bit of time in jail awaiting a court hearing before being freed.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Actually, Thailand is a relatively peaceful and safe place, but the areas of prostitution have a lot of mafia, especially in the old Patpong area and around some of the Thai sex massage joints. (Nana Plaza and soi Cowboy are not nearly as bad.) Nonetheless, there is a significantly higher rate of robberies, drugs, gambling addicts, and extortion associated with prostitutes than mainstream Thai society.
We often have cases where a foreigner has been ripped off majorly, e.g., invested in a business with a Thai girlfriend (usually a bargirl or freelance prostitute) and she didn't do what she said she would do with the money, or embezzled the money out. We also have cases of fake property purchase documents and business registration -- faked government documents. Smaller things like receipts for purchases of goods, English class receipts, apartment rental leases, etc., and not uncommon. These things can be discreetly verified in most cases, and confrontation avoided.
If you find out you've been ripped off, what's the use of an emotional confrontation? An instantaneous release of anger? In the long term, it is better to keep your cool and collect further evidence of the "fraud", and then take the subject to court so that maybe you can get some or all of it back, or else pursue some other strategy in the community to deal with the matter.
In any case, violence should be avoided at all costs, and a more mindful approach chosen.
Sample case studies of Thai girlfriends:
- Hotel employee, fake student, delayed money requests, terrible deception, Bangkok
- She did not ask for money ...
- Bargirl, success story, mixed but faithful, Bangkok
- Bargirl, Pattaya, with monthly support but repeated urgent pressures for extra money
- Quick entrapment by expat agent
- Surveillance by Thai agents
- Undercover Thai lady agents
- Denial -- sometimes the immediate reaction
- For foreign wife, find out if husband has a Thai girlfriend -- IF
- For foreign wife or man's family, find out about husband's Thai girlfriend -- ABOUT
- Composite issues
- Safety issues
- A customer's article on another website about our investigation, on Stickman Bangkok (we knew nothing of this article until after it was online and have had absolutely no editorial inputs to it)
- Thai bargirls and freelancers - some notes
- More case studies... hundreds!
Introducing your optional expat PI - Mark
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