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Thai Girlfriend Background Check
On this page, we discuss how we conduct a Thai girlfriend investigation.
First, however, some sample case studies of Thai girlfriends:
Many men feel uncomfortable when they first decide to not trust their girlfriend 100% and have a private investigation performed, but their discomfort in trusting their girlfriend 100% usually outweighs that, all considered.
I felt the same when I was much younger, about private investigations, but my attitude changed from years of experience finding out what was really going on "out of sight", and from lady-to-lady talk (undercover investigation getting inside her head), as sometimes things were not at all what they seemed.
Better to find out sooner rather than later, since you are investing a lot of:
There is also (4) opportunity loss if the relationship proves to be on a false basis whereby you could have pursued an alternative relationship.
(5) If/when you introduce your Thai girlfriend to your community, your reputation is subject to judgement if your fears turn out to be true.
Finally (could be literally "finally"):
(6) There is a lot of HIV/AIDS going around in Thailand due to the promiscuity in the prostitution circles, and you don't want your girlfriend contracting that!
Therefore, it may be better to find out more information in order to either put your mind at peace or else cut things before getting even further involved. Better to do this sooner rather than later.
We understand that our work can result in major, life changing decisions in other peoples' lives. We are careful about other peoples' lives and understand the responsibilities of our work.
Our two most common methods are:
Being discreet is our top priority. For you, we are considerate of the sensitivity of these kinds of things to many people. It is also in our self-interest, as (1) we don't want to be confronted by the subject or anyone in their environment, (2) we aren't 100% sure at first that the subject isn't part of a gang, (3) our agents don't want to be known as private investigators, as if we are suspected then (A) our work becomes exceedingly difficult on your case, and (B) the agent can't work in that region any longer because gossip gets around and safety comes first.
Practically nobody detects a professional surveillance agent, and of course nobody knows our purpose or who hired us.
Regarding surveillance, a motorcycle can usually follow a taxi or car discreetly and safely a good distance behind, and ordinary looking (unnoticed) agents perform foot surveillance.
People normally suspect nothing and don't look over their shoulder, and there are many pretexts for being in a place, so our work is routine, and we are careful to keep it that way. Safety and peace of mind are our top priorities.
(Taken from a billboard: Buy & move into a new house, little money down.)
If you have a girlfriend, but you're not sure whether she's selling you porkies or has a greedy little pig inside her heart, then you may want to find out sooner rather than later.
Our two most common methods are (1) discreet surveillance and/or (2) undercover socializing, as discussed in the text below.
Please note: We get many requests to find missing Thai girlfriends. Our policy is to give out presumed private information only if we find the lady and she consents that we may give you specific private information. Often, they are happy to give it to the man. However, we do not give out any private information (address, phone, etc.) without contacting and getting the consent of the lady, regardless of circumstances. If she requests we not give you the information, then to prove to you that we did find her, we take photos or relay from her to you some story or fact you already knew but didn't tell us. We also give you an update about her (new husband or scammer or whatever).
First of all, do not get paranoid. In mainstream Thai society, most Thai ladies who have a relationship with a foreign man are reasonably open and honest, and have good intentions. Mainstream ladies in Thailand are traditional and more conservative than western ladies, and usually innocent.
When you read the countless internet stories about being ripped off by Thai ladies, you should keep in mind that most of the victims met the girls in go-go bars or freelance prostitute pickup joints, or else on internet dating and chat sites. Also, bad news is reported and repeated much more commonly and dramatically than good news.
You should not let certain internet websites make you paranoid about your Thai girlfriend. Consider the peer group of each website.
Nonetheless, there are large numbers of materialistic Thais on a rags-to-riches path by dishonest means, even in what foreigners may perceive as "mainstream" Thai society. By "prostitute", we include not just ladies overtly selling sex, but also ladies who make money from men by selling multiple relationships at the same time by faking their intentions, each man not aware of the other men, and for the main purpose of extracting money from men. Relationships are much more lucrative than just shortterm sex-for-money agreements -- each relationship is a longterm income stream.
They range from student prostitutes to other so-called "disguised prostitutes" (a translation of a phrase used in Thai society in regard to a rapidly growing phenomenon over the past 10 years). Notably, the "disguised prostitute" sector has a high HIV+ rate due to much lower use of condoms.
Many meet foreigners in social places in Bangkok and parts of Thailand where there are many tourists. Others use internet dating services and chat rooms. Some take legitimate jobs which give them exposure to many foreigners looking for an apparent non-prostitute.
Understand, most ladies in chat and dating services are not prostitutes, and neither are many in tourist locations.
There may be grey areas. The lady may have a few boyfriends, but is not just out for their money. We report results, and the judgement is yours.
In the West, we call a lady who marries a rich guy mainly just for his money a "matrimonial prostitute", but these ladies are usually faithful for at least awhile (or very discreet otherwise). In Thailand, where the income difference is much greater between ordinary females and western males, it is much more common for ladies to tap multiple foreign men for income streams, especially targeting men who do not reside in Thailand permanently and therefore cannot oversee the lady's activities continuously. Usually, the lady is not very discreet while the foreign man is away, because these things are more accepted in Thai society.
The general rule is this: If you have reason to suspect something's not right -- e.g., telephone not answered at potential action times, a Thai "brother" who doesn't seem to be from the same parents, questionable requests for money, and/or her friends are on the game -- then a discreet investigation may be a good insurance policy, better sooner than later.
We can usually find out what the situation is, and report it to you. In many cases, we don't tell you whether the lady is good or bad. That is up to you to judge, according to your own values, interests, and options. We report the facts and our analysis based on our intimate understanding of Thai people and Thai culture. A personal judgement may be up to you.
Thai society is changing with the new generation. A much larger percentage of young Thais are far more materialistic, yet have limited incomes. The tricky ones are usually part of a group of friends who continuously trade notes and tricks with each other.
It is important to understand that most "comfort" ladies with training from their experienced mentoring friends, and/or experience themselves, are very good salesladies at selling relationships. It is essentially their business. They usually have no other sizeable income (except possibly other foreign men), and this is usually the job they enjoy most (or dislike least). We have investigated many ladies who deserve an Oscar for their performances.
It is very common to find out that many men are sending money to the same lady, all of them thinking she is an exclusive girlfriend. Indeed, just like notorious bar girls and tricky freelance pickups, the disguised prostitutes even brag about their success to their friends. Friends train each other in the tools and tricks of the trade.
Given the money involved compared to mainstream Thai salaries, some relationship prostitutes have become quite sophisticated in this career of scamming men, complete with faked office and/or home phone numbers (call center), all kinds of reasons why they need more money at times, and so forth.
Note: If your Thai girlfriend worked in a go-go bar or a freelance prostitute pickup place, then you are taking a very high risk, statistically, and in the vast majority of cases you should have her checked out. These are the most routine cases.
Many bargirls really do need the money, which is why they stepped over the line into being bargirls. However, many don't really send money home or use the money as stated, but live a materialistic perpetual party life with their friends.
If you are sending money to a student girlfriend in Thailand, then you are a kind and generous person. The results of these cases have varied from contented good students to wild young drug-taking and promiscuous party animals, and various other kinds of results. In some cases the results are clearly positive or negative, and in other cases it's mixed and up to you to judge.
Many men have expressed an uneasy feeling or a little bit of guilt or embarrassment to be investigating their girlfriend. There are countless men before you who have been here and done this. In the final decision, they usually concluded that it is the smart thing for a man to do, rather than ride purely on emotions, if he has any doubts in his mind. "Trust, but verify."
Some just want peace of mind, and no more lost sleep or strange gut feelings. Others realize they are investing valuable time, efforts, money and emotional capital into a relationship and want to find out about the whole situation, not just what is carefully presented to them by their girlfriend.
You can be rest assured that our top priority is to be discreet. We are not gumshoe huckster investigators who just go out with a lady's photo and ask around. No, our primary agents (fulltime employees) are polite mainstream Thai ladies who blend in with their environment, plus a few consulting longtime western expats for tourist places, and a few reliable Thai lady freelancers.
We do not reveal ourselves as investigators to strangers. We do not just do the quick & easy (and cheap) shortcut of asking soi motorcycle taxis, security guards, or other quick but very risky sources (word often gets around to the subject). Instead, our agents use their own sophisticated methods. Each agent is matched to the subject's class and environment, and relies only on themself. Nobody knows we are an investigator (except some sources in certain places who have been good associates or friends of ours for a long time).
If you want a girlfriend background check, then we can do it for you at a reasonable price. Results are usually within just a few days to a week, though sometimes take longer.
Some men attain peace of mind. Some other men limit their losses, and better sooner than later.
The Good Results
Many Thai ladies are interested in foreign men for various reasons: experience in the bigger world, something new and different, curiosity, adventure, hope to see the world, opportunities overseas, and handsomeness (though many traditional Thai ladies don't trust handsome men and have other values). Some want to avoid the traditional Thai husband, whose family may expect her to be too subserviant. The reasons vary from lady to lady.
Money may or may not play a role. In traditional Thai society, it is a measure of a man's commitment and serious interest. It can help her studies if she is from a poor family and is trying to work her way through school. Or, it might be the break she absolutely needs to get out of a bad financial situation, and maybe get a good business going. In other ways, support can build a mutually beneficial future along the lines of similar interests and values.
Chat rooms and internet email are ways for shy people to "get out" and progress safely in establishing a relationship, compared to face-to-face meetings. Thai ladies are generally more shy and discreet than western women.
The Bad Results
Some Thai ladies are interested in foreign men primarily because they have more money and are not as smart as Thai men about Thai bad girls. "Stupid farang" is how they view foreign men who fall for Thai bad girls when Thais can see right through the charade.
The most sophisticated of these ladies who do longterm planning and already have male cash flow usually won't ask for money immediately. They aren't stupid. They usually wait over time, hoping you will offer it, after they make up plausible stories hinting at money needs, e.g., they are working so hard, not much time for you, need money for school, are sick, etc. (These are often true stories with good girls, but bad girls do the same with similar false stories.) After you start to send money, then they start using pressure tactics to increase the amounts.
The experienced ones know that asking for money very quickly results in suspicion, and longterm relationships pay off the most.
If you don't mind supporting her appetite for fashion accessories and ostentatious status, there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you have been misled about where the money is going, their intentions with you, and their faithfulness, then do you think you should know?
It is routine for disguised prostitutes to be engaged in email relationships with many foreign men at the same time. (Also, in chat, they often have multiple windows going when hunting for new men.)
The Thai newspapers have been reporting a rapidly growing trend which reflects what we have seen with our own eyes since the mid-1990s:
Disguised prostitutes can fool a small but significant percentage of Thai guys, but foreigners are much easier prey -- perhaps the majority of foreigners -- because foreigners are not familiar with Thai culture and the differences between Thais across Thai society.
Disguised prostitutes usually extract a lot more money out of each man than do overt prostitutes. It takes more sophistication and skill, but it works, and the business incentive is there. Some disguised prostitutes have graduated to that "disguised" level from experience, having learned that they get more money when they disguise their profession. Others started at the disguised level, usually trained by friends.
Foreign men are the best targets, for several reasons:
Men are willing to invest more money into a relationship which they think is going somewhere, not into prostitutes. Men also trust apparent non-prostitutes much more, understandably. Unfortunately, many prostitutes try to increase their income by acting like non-prostitutes.
The money levels of the prostitution profession are something like the following, on average:
Even among overt prostitutes, the non-students often act and dress like students because student prostitutes get more money than ordinary prostitutes. (The fake-student prostitutes sometimes play a different, more hard-to-get game, to drive their price up. Real-student prostitutes are usually less tricky about the deal.)
Among Thais, overt student prostitution has risen sharply in the last 10 years, and has even become trendy in recent years. Other sectors of prostitution have not experienced this kind of demographic change. In the past, student prostitution was not common, and prostitution was dominated by the lowest classes of Thais. The reason for the dramatic rise is apparent: materialism, fashion, and "conspicuous consumption", like it's never before been seen in the Thai student population.
Chat rooms and internet email are time efficient and effective ways to get "customers".
What is of interest here is "disguised" prostitutes, not overt ones. How can a foreigner know the difference in an unfamiliar culture?
The disguised prostitutes always have cover stories, that they are a university student or have a regular job. Usually, they are university drop-outs, flunkees, unqualified for decent paying jobs or just lazy. However, they have one thing in common: They have learned the skill of engaging men (by charm, sex, affection) into thinking they are most emotionally involved, serious about a relationship and committed, but in fact are:
Some of the stories are real whoppers. Others are mixed stories, on top of a real situation and circumstances.
Understand: This is their "business". The good ones make a lot of money.
Some prostitutes use the money to support extended families. However, over the past 10 years, the trend has changed to where the majority of them are blowing the money on consumer luxuries and footing the bills of "a good time" with their friends, not necessities or personal investments.
It's not uncommon for a prostitute to use the money tricked out of other men to support a handsome/charming Thai boyfriend and his consumer luxuries and entertainment.
Some investigations have even revealed "call centers" whereby the "home" or "office" telephone she gives the man is not really her telephone, but is a call center to receive her calls.
In the office type, a secretary-sounding lady can make an excuse why she cannot come to the phone at the moment and take a message, or else put you on hold and flash the call to her other phone number. In the home type, which is far more common, there is an old lady or jobless young lady who answers the phone for the bad girls. True relatives are usually not involved in call centers (and blood relatives usually don't know of the prostitution or the large amounts of money made and blown), but sometimes are. The office type is much less common but is growing rapidly, to fool both customers and relatives. (Hanging out undercover in a somewhat busy call center room is an amazing experience the first time.)
The best way to know whether it is a call center is to physically go see the location of the telephone number. Usually, that makes it obvious. However, if it's not obvious, then other call pretext methods which work in Thai society can usually determine the nature of the relationship between the person answering the phone and the subject.
There are also other telephone arrangements which the lady can run independently. Unlike a mobile phone number, a fixed landline number implies that they are always "going home" every night. However, there is a popular phone company service in Thailand called Call Divert, whereby one fixed landline telephone number, say, for their own personal condo, is programmed to auto-forward to wherever they are going, e.g., their mother's/sister's/boyfriend's place ... or to a call center. Of course, the forwarding number can be changed remotely at any time.
Another rising trend is for ladies to have more than one mobile phone. (Of course, having two mobiles does not mean they are a prostitute, but disguised prostitutes are doing this more and more.)
The level of sophistication varies greatly. Some are highly sophisticated, very tricky and use plausible pressure tactics to make tremendous amounts of money. Many are not very sophisticated, and sometimes it is incredible how blind men's love can be.
There are also some grey areas, e.g., good students who are poor and simply don't trust one guy, but would be faithful if they knew the guy was truly dependable. They may be courting another guy as a backup plan in case you don't come thru. After all, many are afraid you will find a girlfriend there in your home country, or else will do what many other foreign men do -- come to Thailand and then switch ladies (maybe many from internet dating, or maybe a prettier one from a bar...).
However, the majority of disguised prostitution cases are bad girls who are either disguised students or bad students (easy major, poor grades), or non-students just spending money irresponsibly, and careless about men they hurt.
The victims are usually embarrassed about how much money they have lost. Several thousand dollars is fairly routine, but tens of thousands of dollars is not uncommon. Some have lost their life savings for retirement, totalling hundreds of thousands of dollars.
In addition to losing their money and future plans, they have gone through emotional anguish, embarrassment with family and peers, and lost time that they could have spent with a sincere partner.
Experienced agents can tell you all about the good, the bad and the ugly. But sometimes, they are all in the same case.
Everyone has problems, of various kinds. If you are expecting perfection, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
People often don't tell you the whole story. They want to attract you, naturally. There may be circumstances they won't tell you, but which you should know because it is a potential show-stopper later. Or maybe it's not a show-stopper, but it would scare you away if you knew at the outset. Maybe they are just lying about their age, or have an estranged but legal husband. Perhaps they have one longtime boyfriend who they don't really want to spend their life with, but due to their two families knowing each other well or a family business, they won't break from that relationship unless and until they have secured something better and worth the community traumas of breaking away from the old.
Occasionally, an individual is in a really inextricable situation and irresponsibly leading on another as they fantacize unrealistically, and a conflict and reality check would be the end result.
Usually, however, a "mixed" result just raises challenges, and the client is better able to decide whether they want to risk an investment of time, money and emotion into a particular lady.
Relationships are an art, and we've seen quite a variety. "Different strokes for different folks!"
In life, you take your chances. However, a private investigation can be insurance against an expensive (money sent, money spent travelling, money not working), time consuming and heart-wrenching affair. In finding out, "better sooner than later" may best sum up the matter.
If an investigation indicates bad information, we do our best to verify it. We do not like to see people hurt, so we do our best to not jump to conclusions, but to verify, and to report any uncertainties.
Nonetheless, the vast majority of cases are clear cut.
The two main strategies which we employ in a discreet Thai girlfriend investigation are as follows:
To do undercover socializing, we need to collect enough information to "match" or adapt an agent to the subject's background, lifestyle, interests, etc. This is one of the purposes of our profile form which we send to customers at the beginning of a case.
We do NOT go to a location and start asking people questions about your girlfriend, e.g., the security guard, neighbors, etc., because it is not discreet and in MOST cases people will tell the girlfriend that someone was there asking about her, which can upset the girlfriend as well as make any further investigation by anyone to be more difficult. While these methods can save time to generate quick results cheaply, they are not necessary and in fact they are not as reliable as prolonged focused surveillance beyond the immediate environment (most people don't know what their neighbors really do, and it's often kept secret for face-saving) and/or undercover socializing. We use ONLY our agents, and NOBODY knows our purpose. We are as discreet as possible, and experienced and skilled at this.
Our teams' normal surveillance charges are as follows. They can be less or more depending on the case, but we normally charge a minimum of 2 days (considering overhead and preparation). If the case takes us out of the Bangkok region then there may be additional costs for hotel and transport but those are relatively minor costs in Thailand.
8500 baht/day x 2 days = 17,000 baht
Non-surveillance cases are different, and can cost much less if they are fairly simple.
We usually take half in advance to support our work, and the other have after completion.
If this exceeds your budget, then let us know what your budget is and we can suggest what we can do within your budget. Maybe one agent can do the work instead of a team (but still with a safety backup person in place nearby), and if you don't mind broken English (Thai English) then we can skip the translator middleman and management process.
About the above rates, currency values fluctuate over time, but we aren't going to be picky about the differences and the above rates apply, depending upon which country you are presently in, e.g., if you are a German in Germany then the cost is 350 Euros, but if you are a German in Thailand then the cost is 8500 baht.
This normally covers up to 8 hours on the job for a particular day. We don't stop at 8 hours if there is significant action occuring, and we are flexible, but for significantly longer times we pro-rate the cost based on 1000 baht (US $ 25) per hour. The period is normally continuous, not broken up during the day.
Surveillance normally includes ordinary looking Thai lady agents for foot surveillance, and a motorcycle guy to follow any taxi or motorcycle taxi. Some agents stay out of view but can switch with the first one to be more discreet, help in the challenging task of foot surveillance, and assure an unfamiliar face in undercover interaction. (We also change shirts, sunglasses, hat, hair pulled back, ... for foot followers over a long time. Always plain colors and styles, no writing on shirt, and so on.)
Exceptions may be made to the number of hours, cost, and requirement for a continuous time block, depending on the situation. However, it must fit with common sense and fair judgement. Exceptions are sometimes the rule, and we are fairly flexible, but we expect our customers to be respectful, too, and appreciate what is humanly involved and productive.
Generally, we don't discuss our sources and methods too much, for reasons of safety as well as to not tip off the targets thereby helping the wrong kind of people. However, it is worth noting that sources and agents are carefully "matched" to the subject's type and location(s), and are skilled in being discreet.
We cannot overstate how important being discreet is. The three main reasons are:
Likewise, we have a strict policy of confidentiality. We respect individuals' privacy as much as we can, all considered. (This is especially true about any confidential business matters we might stumble upon.)
We require that you be discreet, too. The safety and effectiveness of our agents is vital to our careers. That is why you won't see our photos or names here, because it's not necessary here on the open internet -- where any email scammer or bargirl can see our photo, or find out who we are? Some of our agents are already well embedded. In some "hot spot" areas of Bangkok, if an agent's identity is compromised, then their career is over in that area. That is why we are very strict with you, too, in being discreet.
We do not take unnecessary risks, such as just talking to motorcycle taxis, security guards and other cheap sources who could seemingly make a case quick & easy, but usually gossip as a pasttime and are on the side of their community, including the lady. We rely heavily on our own agent, who is skilled and directed in particular kinds of discreet "methods". "Sources" in a subject's environment are risky as regards remaining discreet. They can also be unreliable sources as regards accuracy of the information given, for various reasons. Thus, we don't just go out and talk to people. We are most discreet.
The job of discreet private investigations requires well trained and highly skilled agents in the methods of remaining discreet.
Sample case studies of Thai girlfriends:
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Our office is co-located with Export Quality Services Co., Ltd., aka EQ, which is the same company we previously operated under, but we split off the private investigations business to a daughter company, Lucky Lion Pride Co., Ltd., whereby EQ now focuses on language translation and some other things.